Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Blood and glitter go together right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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