Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
