he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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