Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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