To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
