Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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