dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
