I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
