I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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