SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
