I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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