i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You pole danced in your parka.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
