my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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