curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
