We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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