Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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