Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
