tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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