Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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