I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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