Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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