oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face