I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want to be your penis for a week.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
