it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Mom said you looked used
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.