U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.