Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I must be too annoying 4 u.

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  (810): I must be too annoying 4 u. http://tfl.nu/bqrs
  Replies (7) Good night (1093) Bad night (2554)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

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  (502): Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall. http://tfl.nu/wfv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1059) Bad night (3053)
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  (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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  (760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r
  Replies (17) Good night (4230) Bad night (839)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker

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  (920): its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker http://tfl.nu/gudl
  Replies (11) Good night (1794) Bad night (3516)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5662) Bad night (1113)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about

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  (253): Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about http://tfl.nu/o03a
  Replies (9) Good night (6834) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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  (972): It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians. http://tfl.nu/8vkd
  Replies (18) Good night (4894) Bad night (1731)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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  (610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (3661)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...

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  (513): So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits... http://tfl.nu/sn6g
  Replies (7) Good night (1904) Bad night (930)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.

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  (631): I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight. http://tfl.nu/8jy4
  Replies (5) Good night (1689) Bad night (1057)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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  (414): I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I? http://tfl.nu/qaua
  Replies (10) Good night (545) Bad night (863)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.

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  (256): I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though. http://tfl.nu/tmsk
  Replies (1) Good night (872) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Welcome to 22

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  (636): I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night (314): Welcome to 22 http://tfl.nu/2vo1
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (608)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.

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  (+44): That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum. http://tfl.nu/d0dn
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (684)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?

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  (203): What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high? http://tfl.nu/zas2
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (265)

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