omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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