I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
