When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
