you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
