Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
