Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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