The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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