Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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