ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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