3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
