Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
