And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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