I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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