Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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