I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
