i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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