So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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