Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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