Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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