I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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