Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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