I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain