he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
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I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways