so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
