I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?