When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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