and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
