YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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