help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize