At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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