I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
