that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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