Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
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