I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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