we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
