i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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