Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
