hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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