someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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