she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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